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Early in their careers, funeral directors learn that they will be called upon from time to time to bury the disenfranchised; people with no family, often times with no assets, and sadly, with no one who cares.
Talk to any funeral director or clergy, and they will likely remember times when they stand at the grave alone, saying a prayer as they bury a lonely soul. It is a strange feeling to stand in one of the large city cemeteries watching the traffic and world whisk by as you lower the person into the ground, knowing that the person will soon be forgotten, often in an unmarked grave because there is no money to buy them a stone.
A few months back I was at my desk with my usual amount of paperwork to slog through when I received a call. It was from a lady I did not know who had been referred to me. She asked if I would help her bury her friend, an individual with distant family in Louisiana. She wasn’t sure if the family members were still living, but this gentleman had become a part of her family.
Junious lived for many years in the Lake Minnetonka Care Center, a facility that dedicates its care exclusively to serve the mentally ill. It is in Deephaven and was formerly a summer respite on the lake for the well to do of Minneapolis. For the past 60 years it has served the mentally ill, continuing to do so as the neighborhood has blossomed into beautiful homes and an affluent neighborhood.
Cordelia is a resident of that neighborhood. She would see Junious walking past her home daily and a number of years ago, saw him doing so on Easter Day. She walked out and invited him to join her family for Easter brunch. His answer was that he only wanted to eat if it was a Christian house and wasn’t sure if her house would pass the test. She assured him they were Christian and he joined her family that day.
One invitation became a near daily ritual including Junious joining her husband every Sunday afternoon to watch Vikings and NFL games. Cordelia volunteered at the local parish as a sacristan for daily Mass and would go early to prepare the altar. She would then hightail to the Care Center to pick up her friend who would accompany her to Mass. If she was a little behind, Junious would let her know!
The morning after Junious’ death, Cordelia came to the funeral home to make plans for his Mass. She makes quite an entry, a slight woman with an enormous smile and a sunny disposition to match. She has an indomitable faith, a wonderful sense of humor, friends galore and only one goal that day; to be assured that her friend Junious had a dignified and proper burial.
Go back to the beginning of this article and realize that this gentleman would fit the criteria of what funeral directors normally experience. She explained to me that when she lost her husband a few years prior she bought additional graves at the church cemetery. The graves for her family and one for Junious so that he would not be buried alone. She asked for me because she had been told that I would help her bury Junious with dignity and the proper rituals of Holy Mother church.
Junious was buried by the Christian Community all chipping in; there were no fees assessed by the church, the grave prepared for burial well below cost, the funeral home arranged for a Trappist Monk casket so that Junious could be buried as Cordelia’s husband was. The funeral expenses from us the bare minimum for a graveside service. Cordelia bought a simple elegant spray for the top of his casket. Talented members of her family were the musicians and sang from the heart.
The day of his Mass turned out to be a hot, sticky mid-September day. Imagine our surprise when used to little or no one in attendance, we found about 60 people at St. John the Baptist in Excelsior to pray for Junious.
Standing by his casket, Cordelia looked radiant in a beautifully stylish dress and large brimmed hat. She greeted all in attendance and walked behind his casket as we escorted him to the front of the altar for Mass. Her sons and grandsons were pallbearers. The administration and many staff of Lake Minnetonka Care Center were there as well. When we arrived at the cemetery to bury Junious almost everyone had accompanied us.
The cemetery has a long driveway that rolls down a ravine to get to the burial spots. The grave was at the foot of that road. As I drove out of the cemetery with Fr. Alex Carlson following the burial prayers, I looked in my rear-view mirror and saw Dee-Dee (as her friends call her) gently kiss the top of the casket prior to walking away.
Christian faiths refer to the burial of the dead as one of the Corporal Works of Mercy. Funeral directors often are given credit for the corporal work of burial of the dead, and indeed many times it is true. Dee Dee is one who provided Corporal Works of Mercy every day for years for her friend Junious. Feeding the hungry, visiting the lonely and suffering, providing a daily respite where Junious could come visit and be accepted as part of the family.
If given a chance to respond in this article, she would extol all the things that Junious did for her family without even realizing it. How to be gentle, loving and non-judgmental. You could see the care for Junious in the faces of the musicians and pallbearers, he was a part of their world and that day was set aside to honor him.
There are many times in the daily work of a funeral director where you walk away from a lonely grave wondering if that poor soul will ever be remembered. As I looked in the mirror and saw the stylish woman with the wide-brimmed hat give her friend one last act of reverence, I realized that Junious had been given riches in this world that no money could ever buy.
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