Mary Ruff

Ruff, Mary (Kay) Kathleen,

93, of Carondelet Village in St. Paul, Minn., died Sept. 5 at her home. Preceded in death by her husband, Jerry Ruff, and son, Jerry Ruff Jr., and brothers Jim and Larry Holland and parents Joe and Cecelia (Sally) Holland. Survived by a daughter, Mary Anne, and husband, Kevin Smith, of Plymouth, Minn.; five sons and six daughters-in-law, Christopher and Clare of La Crescent, Minn.; Vivian Storm of La Crosse, Wis.; Paul and Dunia of St. Paul; Joseph and Martha of St. Paul, Patrick and Mary of Rochester, Minn.; Steven and Gloria of St. Louis Park, Minn.; a foster daughter, Maribel Ebeling, and husband, Tom, of Eau Claire, Wis., and 30 grandchildren and 18 great-grandchildren. Visitation will be 5-8 PM, Thursday, September 12, 2024 at Gearty-Delmore Park Chapel, 3960 Wooddale Ave S., St. Louis Park, MN. and Mass of Christian Burial 11 AM Friday, September 13, 2024, at the Church of St. Joseph the Worker, 7180 Hemlock Lane N., Maple Grove, followed by a luncheon. Burial will be at St. Vincent de Paul Cemetery, Osseo. Memorials to Hosea Initiative at https://www.hosea4you.org; Tikkun Olam in Wolf Point, Mont., on the Fort Peck Indian Reservation at https://www.repairourworld.org; or Second Harvest Heartland at https://www.2harvest.org.

Mary Kay hails from adventurous and brave stock. The lineage of her mother, Cecilia, has been traced to Ireland, where Julia Lynam was born in Meath in 1775. Julia moved to Minnesota, as did her son, Bartholomew. Both were buried in a cemetery in New Munich, Minn. Cecelia (Sally) was born in 1896 in Melrose, Minn. She attended St. Cloud Normal School in Minnesota and then taught at schools in Birch Lake and Barnesville before moving to Havre, Mont., where she taught first grade. She married Joseph (Joe) Holland (who was born in 1896 in Broken Bow, Neb.) They lived several places before settling in Glasgow, Mont., including Williston and Minot in North Dakota; Brainerd and St. Paul in Minnesota; Sidney, Great Falls and Malta in Montana.

Joe Holland’s father was a blacksmith and wagon master. He served for a time as assistant superintendent of a boy’s reform school. He moved his family to Gebo, Mont., a small coal mining town that no longer exists, in 1898. They went to Havre in 1904, where Joe attended high school.

Joe enlisted in the Army in 1917 and worked in the medical corps. In 1919 he was back in Havre, and in 1927 went to mortuary school in Chicago. Joe met Sally in Havre when she was visiting her sister. They were married in Melrose. Joe Holland for many years was a mortician. He later worked for J.C. Penney and then, with a partner, he opened “Larry’s and Joe’s,” which sold small groceries, refreshments and other items.

Joe and Sally had three children: James (Jim), Lawrence (Larry) and Mary Kay. Mary Kay was born in Malta, Mont. It was a difficult birth. Thanks to her doctor and her midwife grandmother who was on the scene, she made it and so did her mother. Mary Kay was reserved in her early days. She described herself as quiet and shy, and extremely responsible. Mary Kay never lost that latter tendency. There would eventually be so much to be responsible for: She and husband Jerry raised seven children and one foster child, all of them eventual college graduates who’d raise families of their own.

Introspection was always a part of Mary Kay. So was biking and reading. She got all three as a girl growing up in Glasgow, Mont., in a house just a few feet from the railroad tracks going through town. She’d often bike to a dike bordering the Milk River, spending time there alone, reading and daydreaming. Mary Kay was 10 years old when World War II began. Her older brothers Jim and Larry would both serve. The Holland home was a place where soldiers were often invited for holiday meals; an air base was nearby. Mary Kay would also watch soldiers go by their house by train. They’d lean out the window and wave; Mary Kay wondered what would become of them.

Mary Kay was a serious student with results to match. She graduated Salutatorian of her Glasgow High School class in 1949, allowing her to receive a scholarship to attend the College of St. Catherine in St. Paul. It was by train that Mary Kay went from Glasgow to St. Paul and her new life at St. Kate’s. That’s where her brother Jim — a student at nearby University of St. Thomas — greeted her as she stepped into that new life.

Jim had become friends with Jerry Ruff, both of them working at the St. Thomas student newspaper. Jim would later introduce his sister to Jerry. She immediately liked him. That liking was mutual and transcended into a forever love. On Sept. 8, 1952, Jerry and Mary Kay became husband and wife.